Bad Influence

Since Emily and I have been married, there has been a disturbance in the force. Not my force, but hers. Specifically, when she goes on trips with or without me she sometimes packs the day she leaves (sometimes even hours before). I have been doing this since I first packed to go to summer camp at age eight. But Emily used to pack like seven months in advance.

But episodes like last-minute packing did little to prepare me for...

THE ROLL OF TOILET PAPER THAT NEVER GOT SECURED IN ITS CUBBY


Behold the empty roll of toilet paper...



This seemingly obscure toilet paper tube is a historic artifact in that it never made it to the cubby of our bathroom. We ran out of toilet paper and I got some more and didn't bother putting it onto to the toilet paper holder. That just seems like too much damn work to me.

Every fifth toilet paper roll or so, I'll notice that Emily has decided she's not going to do it either, and I'll end of doing it myself. But this last time I decided what would happen if I let it go. Would she eventually cave and put the damn roll on its holder herself? She didn't blink either and the result is Emily is the first wife in the history of time, and I am the 3248842309th husband in the history of time to use a roll of toilet paper until its bitter end without ever putting it in its holder.

It's scary how much I'm influencing her, and in all the wrong ways. I am known for my lack of powers of observation. But last night we went out and I showed her the hat I was wearing and she said "cool." The I went and switched hats 30 seconds later. She didn't notice until four hours later. Pretty soon she'll be getting mad at Spurs games and letting the dog lick her face.